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the things in my life i stand up to salute...
















gollum/smeagol

the funniest and most lovable schizophrenic you'll ever meet, although not intentionally so. gollum comes across a lot funnier in the lotr movies than the books. in fact, in the books he's pretty damn scary. i don't think tolkien intended him to be funny at all, but still... he makes me laugh, and i appreciate it.

and here for your amusment is a transcript of one of gollum/smeagol's funniest moments in ttt... enjoy:

[Gollum is off by himself at night.]
Gollum:
We wants it, we needs it. Must have the Preciousss. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, falssse!
Sméagol:
No! No! Master!
Gollum:
Yess. Preciousss first. They will cheat you, hurt you, lie!
Sméagol:
Master's my friend.
Gollum:
You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.
Sméagol:
Not listening. Not listening.
Gollum:
You´re a liar, and a thief.
Sméagol:
No.
Gollum:
Murderer!
Sméagol:
Go away.
Gollum:
Go away?! Ahahhaa!
Sméagol:
I hate you, I hate you.
Gollum:
Where would you be without me? Gollum. Gollum. I saved us. It was me. We survived because of me.
Sméagol:
Not anymore.
Gollum:
What did you say?
Sméagol:
Master looks after us now. We don't need you.
Gollum:
What?
Sméagol:
Leave now and never come back.
Gollum:
No!
Sméagol:
Leave now and never come back!
Gollum:
Ahh!
Sméagol:
LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!
[Silence]
Sméagol:
We told him to go away! And away he goes, preciousss. Gone, gone, gone, Sméagol is free!

funny shtuff!

bill cosby

bill cosby is one of the funniest old blokes around and he manages to make people laugh without being a filth merchant... a rare quality these days. here's my wallpaper tribute to old bill.

billwallpaperthumb.jpg

orange juice

what can be said about orange juice that hasn't already been said? it's just good stuff, you can't top a fresh, icy cold, non bitter, glass of oj on a stinkin' hot day. orange juice, we salute you!
















dr. pepper

ah dr. pepper... an aquired taste i'll admit, but once it's aquired... oh yeah. it's kind of funny that i like dp so much considering that i actually hate sasparilla and have an aversion to cola... hmmm. but together they make an tasty beverage that you never seem to have to share!